I'm not a Good Friend.

I have reflected lately of all the necessary things that need to happen, and all the things that are important but are not necessary. It is the old "Good, Better, Best" that Elder Oaks talked about in his General Conference talk back in 2007. I have really been missing adult relationships that have gone by the wayside because of my fabulous life of being a mom, foster mom, and special needs mom. 

I am that friend. You know the one you see looking ahead, determined, and not focused on anything but the door. I am often carrying a child, either screaming, exhausted, or laughing uncontrollably because she did something naughty!!! I don't pause in the hallway at church for a quick chat because I am too focused on getting to my destination. If I do A) I'll forget. Then I'll have to sit there for 5 minutes to remember. B) I won't be 100% in the conversation if you do manage to make eye contact. I'm looking at the little's I'm in charges of making sure they aren't hugging strangers or bolting out the door to the parking lot. Don't get me wrong. I want to be that stylish friend you just have to flag down because it's been too long! 

I'm not a good friend because I don't make play-dates often. I like the play-dates that are at your house, and I can drop my kid off and leave. I like these because A) I don't have to show you that from the waist down I'm still in my pajamas, no makeup was applied to my face, and my hair is in a ponytail (just like the last 3 days). B) I'm going to cherish those few hours of time to get caught up on things, watch TV, etc.

I'm not a good friend because well I'm OK with all of it. I'm OK with the crazy house of kids. The funny dinners where my toddler eats with his messy hands, and we have to say at least 2-3 prayers every time because we all need a turn. I'm OK with just hanging with my family because they are super fun and exhausting. I'm OK with date nights locked in my bedroom eating ice cream, and watching a movie with my husband late at night knowing we'll both be zombies in the morning. Which by the way is horrible for my waist line and amazing for my soul.

In the Family: Proclamation to the World it says, "The divine plan of happiness enables family

relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally." I'm choosing right now my eternal family. This revelation isn't new to us. Family brings joy. A kind that is indescribable that can only be had by sacrifice, service, love, and time. I'll be a good friend one day, and I have some good moments. But for now I'm choosing the best part and can be a better friend as I grow and learn balance.

Be a Woman

I am a woman. I am a daughter of God. I am a mother. I am a wife. I see these words and feel empowered to know that I am a woman of God. I have a divine destiny as a daughter of the Almighty. I feel that my role as a woman is of the utmost importance. Womanhood is beautiful and essential to the creators plan. I know that my role, albeit different than a male, is equally important to that of my partner. My role and my husbands role are intertwined perfectly to complete each other. According to The Family, A Proclamation to the World, "The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan."

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, “First of all, I want you to be proud you are a woman.  I want you to feel the reality of what that means, to know who you truly are.  You are literally a spirit daughter of heavenly parents with a divine nature and an eternal destiny.  That surpassing truth should be fixed deep in your soul and be fundamental to every decision you make. . . .”  (“To Young Women,” Ensign, November 2005, p. 28). The prophetic Family Proclamation states that, “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual pre-mortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” 

The more I think of my role as a woman the more my testimony has deepened. I can attest that I know I am a daughter of God with the highest potential. I can be a stay at home mom, a working mom, and a wife. Our Lord leaves us to choose our path prayerfully. He gave us divine gifts to help us on our journey. I know that I am a nurturer and that is an honorable role. I feel sad when society views woman's choices as not being feminist enough when I am choosing for my self. I know my role is equally important to my husband. They are different but essential to each other.

Happiness

After the crazy week last week which did not include the post about our new neighbors that moved in. The lice family have evacuated after 2 days of intense cleaning. Baby is feeling better, and is once again consuming her formula. Parent teacher conferences have concluded, and Madi's arm is healing! Yay... I can't really say this is A-typical for our family. Seven people living in one place there is always going to be something. I'd like to think through it all I kept my sense of humor about it. I wanted to go hide in my bed and cry but no...I chose to laugh. I chose to find humor at the intensity of how it all happened in such a concentrated form. This week I read an amazing talk by Elder Scott called, "Finding Happiness". https://byui.brightspace.com/content/enforced/14113-Online.2015.Fall.FDREL200.62/Course%20Files/FDREL%20200%20Packet%20(F15).pdf?_&d2lSessionVal=BuFu7XPGylxroi0qawBzRTWW3&ou=14113

I love the eternal perspective of happiness. It isn't the perfect excellently decorated home, well paying job, the fabulous vacations, the perfect children (although close couldn't hurt!!). These are not bad things but I find happiness is in the moments, and the spiritual connections, the people that have influenced us, the good deeds we perform, the service we provide, and the Christ-like love that is shown. I also loved that the eternal perspective is true. Elder Scott said, "Your happiness is absolutely guaranteed as you willingly obey his commandments, receive all of the necessary ordinances, and are obedient to them, for he is a perfect, loving Father who will never change." Our Lord has shown us the formula for happiness, a goodness that goes to the core is immeasurable. He has also provided a way that we can find happiness after despair. When we commit a sin or make a wrong choice that we regret he has given us the atonement. Without a complete remission of our sins Elder Scott said, "Over time we would become like Satan because we would lose all hope of returning to Father in Heaven and of benefiting from his righteousness, his mercy, and his perfect love." Despair and happiness can't coexist. Elder Scott informs us, "Everywhere about you there are individuals that embrace the appealing offerings of Satan as the only real way of life. They do not recognize and many even deny the existence of spiritual guidance or the reality of a loving Father in Heaven. They allow themselves to be convinced that what is really enduring is what they see, touch, smell, hear, and taste. In short, they confine themselves to the world Satan wants them to be confined in. They cut themselves off from the glorious opportunities that their holy Father in Heaven wants them to have. Don’t you make that mistake."

I choose today to be happy. I choose to ignore the pulls of society telling me I should need or want things. I choose to find peace in the plan of Happiness that the Lord has given us. It is very freeing to know that I choose good, and I will be happy.

Mothers

Last weekend I watched and listened as leaders from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints gave us messages from our Lord. I was particularly drawn to a talk by Elder J. Holland. He is a powerful speaker and I always feel such a strong witness of truth when I hear him speak. And yes, my cheeks were wet with tears by the end. 

I had a particularly trying day yesterday, and these days seem to be a little more often lately. I had just returned from taking Tinker Bell for a lab test that was required by the state. I was taking a few minutes to nurture our sweet Tinker Bell who has had some significant feeding issues. She has been refusing to eat, and often will vomit not long after just a few ounces of formula. I sat down after a long morning and the phone rang. It was Madi letting me know that she hurt her wrist while playing volleyball in P.E. I put the nearly full bottle in a bag, and rushed to the school to pick up Madi and her distorted looking wrist. We went straight to the prompt care office and was told that they don't accept our insurance, so I packed us up again, and went to the urgent care across the street. We waited for about 20 minutes for them to even register us. The wait times were over an hour. I decided to go back home to take care of my two middle kids to get them off the bus. I was fortunate (or not so fortunate) to get a call in that window of time from Gavin's teacher that she would like us to address a small attitude issue. I was able to wait for my husband to get home from work, and pass that information off to him to help me. We went back to urgent care and took a few sets of X-rays. Nothing broken was a relief to hear. The nurse wrapped Madi up with a half cast, and we grabbed a few pizzas to cook at home. While I was away my 2 year old Tommy Boy had screamed for hours, and had passed out on the couch asleep. Tinker Bell had thrown up multiple times while I was away. Needless to say Joe needed a break. We got the kids down for bed, and Tommy Boy woke up!

I write this as an exhausted mom. I often think, "Can I do this?" or think wouldn't it be so much easier if it were just our kids. Then I remember Elder Holland saying, "To all mothers in every circumstance, including those who struggle—and all will—I say, “Be peaceful. Believe in God and yourself. You are doing better than you think you are. In fact, you are saviors on Mount Zion, and like the Master you follow, your love ‘never faileth.’ ” I can pay no higher tribute to anyone."

Yes, most definitely the stress, heartache, physical demands 5 children can have would be reduced. I also think that no matter what our circumstances we will have hardships, difficult days where you think shouldn't this be easier. I believe that we come here to this earth to gain a body, have experiences, gain knowledge of pain and joy, and to become like Christ. Being a mother is one of the greatest honors that can be bestowed upon me. I am deeply grateful for my role. I know there are days of pure chaos, or just plain hard days. I just like to remember that hard works begets great rewards. I am also thankful to Elder Holland for giving us the Lords words when he said, "I can pay no higher tribute to anyone."

Link to Elder Holland's talk:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/10/behold-thy-mother?lang=eng

P.S. I have committed to one blog post a week for the remainder of the semester.

Lately, I had been feeling prompted to start blogging again. I think it can bring out the thoughtfulness that I cannot otherwise express throughout my day. I kept brushing it aside as something that I could do when I had more time. Well, there was no extra time, so I never started. I started taking some classes about a year ago to finish up my Bachelor's Degree from Brigham Young University Idaho online program. One of my classes gave me an opportunity to choose blogging as part of my capstone project. I had other choices, but I felt that this was my opportunity. 

A little background to get me to the place I am now in my life. I am a wife. Joe and I have been married now for 16 1/2 years. He is my partner, and my comic relief. I am a mother, Joe and I have 3 children. Madi (13), Gavin (10), and Annika (7). I am a foster parent. Joe and I have two foster children. We have a son whom for privacy reasons will nickname him Tommy Boy. Then, to finish it off we have a sweet little 2 month old baby girl, we'll nickname Tinker Bell. I am a Primary President for my local congregation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am a substitute para educator for the local school district. I am a special needs mom. Miss Annika and Tinker Bell are both blessed with an extra copy of the 21st chromosome. Last but not least, I am a student!